Goodbye My Lover
by roganrocks
Summary: A song-fic for Rory and Logan. Logan's POV


_Did I disappoint you or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,_

_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

_So I took what's mine by eternal right._

_Took your soul out into the night._

_It may be over but it won't stop there,_

_I am here for you if you'd only care._

_You touched my heart you touched my soul._

_You changed my life and all my goals._

_And love is blind and that I knew when,_

_My heart was blinded by you._

_I've kissed your lips and held your head._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._

_I know you well, I know your smell._

_I've been addicted to you._

Logan was walking away from Rory after she had turned down his proposal. Turned it down. He still couldn't believe it. He thought she would accept, happily even. But that didn't happen, she said no and now he was walking away.  
Walking away from the only love he'd ever known. Before her he had always stayed clear of relationships but when she came along he couldn't do anything about it. He fell, hard. She changed him in so many different ways. She made him want to write articles for the paper just to impress her. She made him want to go to class just so he could come back and have debates with her over the material. She had made him into the man he was today, the business man, and he didn't know if he could make it without her. She was the reason he had wanted the job in San Fransisco so much, to show her that he was capable of taking care of himself and eventually her. He thought of all the times when he thought she would end their relationship. The fight about the bridesmaids, the fight after the stupid Marty ordeal, and then the unfortunate event of him losing the company and then going off and gambling. But no she had stayed with him though all of it. She had helped him get through all of it. He didn't know what to do because now it was finally over and it wasn't because of something stupid that he did, it was because of him trying to do something right. God this was screwed up! He didn't understand what he had done wrong. He couldn't imagine sleeping without her there to hold, without her there to wake up to in the morning, or just to randomly call her to tell her something about his day. She had engrained herself into his life, he truly was addicted to her.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

_I am a dreamer but when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you._

He lay in bed that night thinking about her. He couldn't get her out of his head. She was his everything. Just the thought of her with anyone else made him sick but if she couldn't be happy with him then he hoped she'd find somebody.  
He knows that he'll never be able to move on. He'll turn into what his father had wanted him to be, a jackass who marries some trophy wife that he hardly knows, has heirs not kids, and spends all of his time at work. God he would be his father.  
He doesn't want that for his kids though. He wants them to have parents that they actually like but he knows it'll never happen. The only person he wants to have his kids is Rory, anyone else would just be wrong. He thinks that maybe if he had just waited and not asked her in front of everyone or waited until she had a job, things would be different. She would've said yes, maybe. He keeps replaying the way it ended in his head. They deserved better than that. The way her eyes glistened when he said goodbye and how he could hear her trying to regain her composure before she turned back to her family made him want to turn around and take it all back. But he was humiliated, he had to get out of there. He wanted to call her and tell her that he was sorry but it was too late, she was gone. He let the tears that were threatening to fall roll down his cheeks as he feel into a restless sleep.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

_And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bear my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet.  
Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

A couple months later he still wasn't any better. He hated to admit it but he still cried every once in a while. He just missed her so much. He thought he had seen her in San Fransisco a couple times but it always turned out to be someone else. This proved to him how attched he still was. Just thinking about her made his heart break over again and it seemed like each time made it worse. He was a shell of a person without her and he didn't even care.

_I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._


End file.
